There’s a hole in my heart, full of theology
Posted on 6 Jun 2007
A professor at my seminary (quite ironically) proposed the idea that theology is sin; for when we attempt to intellectually or systematically box-up God, we fail to have faith to believe in something mysterious, unconfined, holy. I believe as such and have feverishly tried to undo my fundamentalism with all its mind-shrinking dogma, but as I assess my two years at seminary thus far, I fear I have experienced little joy in this gray area of the spectrum: I am more afraid, I trust less, I believe less, I enjoy less, I want less, I care less.
I hear the percentage of seminarians that make it out in better shape is sadly low. I sure miss fundamentalism.
Matthew Shedden
7 Jun 2007 (00:40)
Zadok, I hope you don’t mind me asking, but which professor are we talking about?
I think what you said partly true, its just sad how far in the wrong direction I think we have gone. Just my opinion though.
Thanks for the honest post.
DeAnza
10 Jun 2007 (16:34)
oh gosh that makes me really sad, zadok! david leong also blogged about the problem with doing theology. in short, theology is for the elite, the priveledged– designed to only protect the practices of the elite and leave the marginalized in the dust. i don’t know what the answer is, but i like what this graduate from fuller said yesterday at the fuller graduation ceremony– ‘the search will never end’. i hope we have the dignity and grace to search earnestly and with hope and to never give up– even when we feel it just runs us in circles.
K
11 Jun 2007 (01:14)
Hey Zadok,
I’m excited to get to know you more and to possibly work with you on some music projects, and also to have you in community with us here, as we are trying to cultivate an environment for people to ‘fall in love with God’ and come into joy, even amidst our struggles as a people.
So this is an invite… do consider exploring intentional community with us, at your own pace, as you are led, so we might come to live into the mystery of the Trinity, together.
Email me, and let’s go out to chat karen@apostleschurch.org
greg
12 Jun 2007 (20:00)
To me, theology is an attempt to employ the cleverness of intellect to rationalize that which, when viewed without the agenda of faith, appears to be inherently absurd and self-contradictory.
rachael
12 Jun 2007 (23:00)
seems to me an emphasis on mystery without revelation is just as empty as an emphasis on revelation without mystery. shouldn’t it be more like a relationship…like if you are married…you know the person…you have experienced them…and yet…they change…and grow and still have mystery that keeps you moving towards them. i don’t even know if that makes sense. but i don’t trust any theology that says one cannot know God because God is mystery and i reject any theology that says one cannot fully know God. tension holds the line so i can walk.
The Chiz
13 Jun 2007 (22:27)
Faith is different from proof; the latter is human, the former is a Gift from God.
-Blaise Pascal
Zadok
14 Jun 2007 (17:16)
You are all good and gracious people, with big hearts and minds. I am surprised at how quickly the moment derails me. I have had surreal moments of beauty with God, moments that I swear to myself I will not forget. And then weeks or even hours later, I realign myself towards anger and isolation. Will I ever learn? Here is to a belief system that includes mystery and faith, as well as revelation and knowledge. And yes Greg, if I think I’m clever, I am acting out of the wrong heart. I must pursue God for the sake of relationship and elevation–not to leave others beneath me. Thank you my dear friends.
kacie
12 Dec 2007 (17:10)
hey. i came across your blog on the mhgs blog hub. i just wanted to thank you for this post. it resonates so deep in my soul. while im not in seminary, i do attend a christian college, and all of this theology that has been thrown at me has made me weary. dont get me wrong, i am so grateful for the chance to learn about god in a scholarly setting…i guess that im just tired of wrestling with faith. exhausted.
Zadok
12 Dec 2007 (17:24)
Kacie,
thank you. I am honored to share the desert space with others such as yourself.