The film that runs inside my head.
Posted on 18 May 2007
…tells me this:
– my experience of life will never change
– beauty and delight have no value
– God is primarily interested in changing my behavior
So in other words, God wants me to change in order to experience a good life of beauty and delight, but I don’t believe such things are possible nor do they have any value. And I’m up front telling the congregation otherwise. Hypocrisy wasn’t supposed to look like this.
Nova
19 May 2007 (15:29)
interesting thoughts/post, Z. i have to admit: i don’t understand it. :(
are you suggesting that the film inside your head is right or what you’re telling the congregation is right?
what exactly are you telling the congregation? is it that our experiences of life will change, that beauty and delight indeed have value, that God is not primarily interested in changing our behaviors, or all of the above?
chris
21 May 2007 (04:42)
who told you that God is primarily interested in changing your behavior? not to be too blunt but that’s pure crap…
Greg
21 May 2007 (07:26)
Seems clear to me that the very fact that you WANT to believe beauty and delight have value means that you DO believe they have value. Otherwise you wouldn’t care.
That film running inside your head is just some bit of craziness…. don’t bother trying to shut it down, just know it for what it is, and go on with your life!!
Zadok
21 May 2007 (17:34)
So is it then impossible to not care for beauty? Is naming it, even as a meaningless dross, mean that I want it?
And to answer you SuJ’n, the film is my experience, which I am beginning to take as truth, as reality. And each week I do my best to encourage the congregation that such bleak reality is not true. I am saying what I do not believe: hypocrisy.
Greg
22 May 2007 (05:22)
So is it then impossible to not care for beauty? Is naming it, even as a meaningless dross, mean that I want it?
There may be SOME people who do not care for beauty, but, yes, simply by naming it (even as “a meaningless dross”), you have revealed that you are not one of those people.
Nova
22 May 2007 (12:48)
can you just walk out of the theater, knowing that it’s all lies?
i saw LOTR:TTT again last night. (three cheers for the public library!) the King Theodon / Wormtongue storyline particularly struck me this time:
the king was not banished or killed by the enemy; instead he was placed under a mind-binding spell and kept on the throne. meanwhile, all he cared about was attacked with his tacit ‘approval’. it occurred to me that the good and powerful Theodon was more useful to the enemy alive and manipulated than dead. the ingenuity of this tactic gives me the goosebumps.
saz bro
24 May 2007 (22:21)
i still hope, pray, and believe that one day the film in your head will be full of memories and ongoing experiences of beauty & delight, and a deep assurance that God is primarily interested in loving you, tucking you in his shirt like a kitten. Love you.
amanda + daniel
27 May 2007 (16:39)
amen to saz bro’s thoughts