I cannot love this artist any more…

Posted on 28 Oct 2011

...than I already do. http://youtu.be/mU6TB8jet-Q

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Oh, I don’t own a TV.

Posted on 13 Jul 2011

I used to be a smugly about not owning a TV, well now I do and I love it. A gorgeous 32" 1080p wi-fi enabled TV. It is my favorite form of entertainment and it makes my life better. I don't read very much and I write these helpful blog posts.

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Pineapple Express (3/5)

Posted on 13 Jul 2011

Franco, stoned in this and every other scene, pokes his hitchhiking thumb through his zipper and exclaims: "hey look, it's like my thumb is my cock". That's funny.

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Charlie’s Angels (DNF)

Posted on 13 Jul 2011

I couldn't finish this or muster the courage to watch those Spy Kids movies, but it seems they are all made for nine-year-old people who aren't ready for the sophisticated characters we find in the Pierce Brosnan spy catalog.

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The Company Men (DNF)

Posted on 12 Jul 2011

Rich, corporate guys feel the economic squeeze and stick knives into each others' backs and make it really hard for anyone to finish watching because doing whatever it takes to make the stock go up is not good film.

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Sucker Punch (DNF)

Posted on 7 Jul 2011

Zack Snyder has certainly found his creative palette and makes effort to tell outlying stories, too bad his execution produces such hackneyed and bland results. I also get the sense that his diet is primarily pornography and Superfriends. Nobody's perfect.

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Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows – Part 1 (DNF)

Posted on 21 Jun 2011

These movies are getting too complicated for me. So as I understand it: Harry is the chosen one and must avoid the nose-for-a-face guy cause he is super evil powerful, or take vengeance for killing his parents and putting an "s" on his head but only if he thinks he is ready, and everybody really wants to have a Fall wedding in the countryside even though people are certain to die, and that redheaded wally totally wants to get off with the girl ...

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Private Parts (2/5)

Posted on 21 Jun 2011

Pretty good.

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Hall Pass (0/5)

Posted on 19 Jun 2011

Owen Wilson plays a sleazy-childish-husband-dad whose wife lets him out of their marriage for a week so he somehow convinces the most impossibly hot woman alive to screw his burned out, half-unmarried self as part of her bucket list (she's already bungee jumped), but then he can't go through with it so he goes home and it turns out his wife had the hots for a softball coach or something. Other than that, pretty realistic.

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Drive Angry (DNF)

Posted on 19 Jun 2011

Kill Bill meets Nic Cage low-renting everything and the Duke boys' adventures with roadhouse rockabilly and Chevelle Satanism and swearing and dynamite and tits* and losing money at the box office. Confusing. *Fake plastic beach balls sewn onto skinny frames, not to be confused with breasts.

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