Scream 2 (1/5)
This is a movie about a kid who kills all his kid friends and knocks over a lot of furniture, all ambitiously captured by an intrepid bitch reporter.
Cold Noses, Warm Hearts (5/5)
Here is the set list that Righteous Trash dropped on our dance party last night. Yes, I give it 5 stars. Thank you all for coming--twas a fine evening indeed. In Church by M83 Snows Melt by Acid Washed Paradise Circus (Gui Boratto Remix) by Massive Attack Hold On by Holy Ghost! Lisztomania (Classixx Version) by Phoenix I'll Get You (Ft. Jeppe) by Classixx Rich Girls (The Twelves Remix) by The Virgins Anyway by Duck Sauce ...
The Bodyguard (0/5)
Houston plays a drinkin', smokin', cussin', self-prescribed bitch with great skin, perfect teeth, a vengeful libido, and all the money and fame any one could hope for. Costner plays a style-less, disciplined, bore, who drives an El Camino, drinks Coors, and throws knives at fence posts. Let's hook em up! The film actually works well if you imagine that Houston is a high functioning, mentally challenged, sexually active, heiress, with a grade ...
Tron: Legacy (2/5)
This might be the most expensive debut film ever made--Kosinski was just 35 when he directed this, and Disney gave him $170m to play with. It looks and sounds absolutely spectacular, and I wish I had seen this IMAX 3D.
The Switch (DNF)
An awful opening monologue from one Jason Bateman, telling us the hard truth that life isn't a fairy tale and that real connection is messy and complicated and not dreamy gushy hearts and arrows. Ugh. It read like some deep thinking college freshman who's doing his best to tell us how life really is, man. And, I remember hearing about the casting call for two extras in this film--something like this: "needed, woman with pig face", and "needed, ...
127 Hours (2/5)
I feel like I should be more enthusiastic about such a triumphant and shocking story. This is about the movie I expected it to be when I first saw the trailer--a guy gets stuck in a ravine for a long time, says goodbye to the camcorder, then cuts off his arm. Not much else.
Fair Game (3/5)
Probably a case of a film playing so close to the true story it was based on, that you wish they had thrown in a limousine car chase or some cocaine to keep things spicy. A sad look at the corruption and spin doctoring that was rampant in the Bush administration. 1% of the U.S. population is in prison--Scooter and Rove are among the 99.
Catfish (3/5)
The internet was upset at last week's episode of "Community" for ruining the end of this documentary--I don't agree, there wasn't much to spoil. Perhaps this would have been a surprising tale ten years ago, but nowadays we're all properly suspicious of any hot girls who chat us up online. The trailer shot itself in the foot, making the case for keeping the big secret mum and then leaving those of us with two wits underwhelmed when the curtain ...
The Fighter (3/5)
There are just too many cliches in boxing films to keep me interested. This one being based on a true story and a stellar performance from Bale and his maniacal big hair sisters kept things buzzing for the most part.
Hereafter (4/5)
Eastwood again scores his own film, which I've decided he shouldn't do. A great script and interesting story otherwise.