Watchmen (2/5)

Posted on 15 Mar 2009

The plot seems to come together quite hastily in the last scenes, but upon further thought, Snyder competently wove the numerous origin stories with evil nuclear blond guy plot. And I think I mostly understood why the bad guys and good guys did what they did. If you put enough chromatic trash on the screen your audience will forgive your gaping plot holes--I have a feeling there were at least a few. At least one star for the opening credits. ...

Read More


Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang (5/5)

Posted on 14 Mar 2009

Downey Jr. and Kilmer rifle through the script at a manic pace, delivering some fiercely hilarious stuff. You can tell the writer/director spent a lot of time developing this; the scenes and characters are wickedly fresh and peculiar. Best epilogue ever: "To all you good people in the Mid-West, sorry we said fuck so many times".

Read More


Changeling (4/5)

Posted on 10 Mar 2009

Eastwood again attempts to score his own film with blandly caustic results (I did not know such paradox was possible). I cast the box office failure of the film on a peculiar albeit very appropriate title, overwhelmingly depressing content, and a flabby poster of Jolie apparently in monk's garb. Still, the brief moments of justice and unwavering hope of the lead are all fist-in-the-air good.

Read More


Twilight (3/5)

Posted on 9 Mar 2009

I didn't know that Forks had an ethnic majority-minority student body of 90210 model quality. Come hither teen chemistry in large doses were all singe, and worked kittens on this over-aged, bored, immature, and lonely male (clearly, the tertiary market for this material). Love the dreary peninsula sets and vampire pallor; oh to have a dreamy immortal want to drink you in and yet, resist for the sake of--um why was he resisting again? And I'll ...

Read More


Body Of Lies (3/5)

Posted on 8 Mar 2009

Crowe is sadly pinned to his mobile for most of the film and the action never quite takes off. Being quite gay for Leo, though, and a fan of Ridley's style make it an enjoyable two hours. Leo's last lines were a favorite--responding to Crowe's despairing claim that there is nothing to like about the Middle East, "perhaps that is our problem".

Read More


Showgirls (1/5)

Posted on 7 Mar 2009

Berkley and her "character" (is there a difference?) are repellent--you hate everything she does. Plot: a vaguely hostile vagabond takes her narcissism to Las Vegas where she cheats and lies her way to the top just in time to make one decent choice that solves nothing and fates her off to the other worst city to live if you're a decadent hopeful. One star for the purely perfect failure of director, producer, writer, actors, stand-ins, best boys, ...

Read More


Poison Ivy: The Secret Society (1/5)

Posted on 6 Mar 2009

Just the sleaze crap I was looking for on a Friday night. It is like Dave Matthews sneaking a "smoke one down" lyric into a song and we all cheer cause we like to get high too--or something.

Read More


One Hour Photo (4/5)

Posted on 3 Mar 2009

Williams in a fascinating dramatic role--minus a beard too. A perfectly executed twist ending that probably looks bad on the script, but worked well and didn't disappoint the audience lust for blood; credit to the editor.

Read More


License To Drive (0/5)

Posted on 1 Mar 2009

Very unlucky. Nothing good to see here, not even 80s nostalgia or worthwhile "Coreys" slumming. (Is it considered slumming when this may be their best film?)

Read More


Prophecy (2/5)

Posted on 26 Feb 2009

Walken certainly carries a few scenes with his mercurial charisma, but the nuanced theological background and flaccid supporting cast bog things down. It is also quite lethal to have your protagonist/detective stumbling about for information the audience has long since discovered.

Read More