Hard Candy (5/5)
The director of the latest Twilight soap opera cut his teeth on this film back in 2005. Disturbing, controversial, some of the most brilliant writing and acting I've ever seen. An adolescent Helen Page puts the pedal to the floor and doesn't let up until the credits roll. Wow.
The Book Of Eli (5/5)
New Mexico never looked so good. I went in knowing nothing of the plot, which really added to the fun and discovery. Probably the most enjoyable film I've seen so far this year.
Splice (1/5)
Perhaps this is your thing: to watch filmmakers put their baby on a train, dress it up with some promising actors and the hot topic of human cloning, and then crash it into the wall. The story runs way behind the audience right from the first reel, and then attempts to make up for it by having the titular Splice-child screw Daddy, change sexes and then screw Mommy. These people are disturbingly jacked up, and not in the interesting, curious ...
Get Him To The Greek (1/5)
The film I paid full price for and left midway through to catch SATC2. A soulless, chemistryless, bland, disappointment of a film. Brand is probably one of my favorite interviewees, and his book is quite entertaining as well. Now that he has decided to marry Katy Perry and essentially play himself in such a dreadful film, I think my crush is over. A contender for most over-rated film of the year.
Sex And The City 2 (1/5)
Enough ink has already been shed in offense of this decadent dross, so I'll just say that I didn't pay to see it, and it wasn't as wonderfully hideous as The Stranger made it out to be. For me, the defining scene is where our four most cosmopolitan women are impressed by an Arabic language can of Pringles--this is why I hate our freedom.
The Best Album You Never Heard
My dear friend Bryan Free released this album last year and I just now got around to spinning it. I am inspired, envious, in awe. As if Beck and Jenny Lewis had a love child who worked an IT job that allowed him hours to scheme up a sublime beam of madness. This is beautifully complex music that requires much of the listener; there is treasure to unearth if you're willing. Go get it here.
Zombieland (4/5)
Despite his best efforts to fly the plane into the side of the mountain, as he did in Adventureland, the lead actor and motley crew put together a humping good time in this gore-action-comedy. If you fancied Shaun Of The Dead and did not see Death Race for moral reasons, then you'll enjoy this film. Copious violence, including: boots to heads, bats to heads, double taps to heads, car doors to heads, Hummers driving over heads, and respectfully, ...
Moon (4/5)
Next time your director comes up to you and complains that they need more money to finish their crap film, sit 'em down with this absolutely sublime science fiction picture that cost all of $5M. Astonishing. Part 2001, part Solaris, part David Bowie's kid. Get some.
Shutter Island (2/5)
Scorcese makes a brown smoothie out of every dramatic sub-genre he hasn't mastered yet, and things fall apart to comic affect. This is M. Night kitsch with a ton of brilliant actors stumbling around some truly menacing, beautiful sets in what turns out to be--spoiler--"the most elaborate role play ever!", so says Ben Kingsley. I would have giggled out loud at that point if the film had any levity in its soul. My diagnosis by the last reel was ...