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Charlie’s Angels (DNF)
I couldn't finish this or muster the courage to watch those Spy Kids movies, but it seems they are all made for nine-year-old people who aren't ready for the sophisticated characters we find in the Pierce Brosnan spy catalog.
The Company Men (DNF)
Rich, corporate guys feel the economic squeeze and stick knives into each others' backs and make it really hard for anyone to finish watching because doing whatever it takes to make the stock go up is not good film.
Sucker Punch (DNF)
Zack Snyder has certainly found his creative palette and makes effort to tell outlying stories, too bad his execution produces such hackneyed and bland results. I also get the sense that his diet is primarily pornography and Superfriends. Nobody's perfect.
Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows – Part 1 (DNF)
These movies are getting too complicated for me. So as I understand it: Harry is the chosen one and must avoid the nose-for-a-face guy cause he is super evil powerful, or take vengeance for killing his parents and putting an "s" on his head but only if he thinks he is ready, and everybody really wants to have a Fall wedding in the countryside even though people are ...
Drive Angry (DNF)
Kill Bill meets Nic Cage low-renting everything and the Duke boys' adventures with roadhouse rockabilly and Chevelle Satanism and swearing and dynamite and tits* and losing money at the box office. Confusing. *Fake plastic beach balls sewn onto skinny frames, not to be confused with breasts.
Conan The Barbarian (DNF)
Conan and his low-wit friend are telling each other about their favorite god and how it is better than the other guys' and nobody gets really bent out of shape about it. Then they find a town or as they call it "civilization", and decide it is too crowded and smelly so they go back out to the country like good barbarians.
The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell Of Fear (DNF)
This is enjoyable if you are a young boy with a paper route, generously intoxicated, or have extremely low self-worth and no access to any other form of entertainment. (The three previous times in my life that this crap series was enjoyed.)
Skyline (DNF)
It thinks it is Cloverfield meets War Of The Worlds, but I can't be bothered with a bunch of milquetoast actors running around a building for two hours.
The Switch (DNF)
An awful opening monologue from one Jason Bateman, telling us the hard truth that life isn't a fairy tale and that real connection is messy and complicated and not dreamy gushy hearts and arrows. Ugh. It read like some deep thinking college freshman who's doing his best to tell us how life really is, man. And, I remember hearing about the casting call for two extras ...
Easy A (DNF)
These teen comedy films seem to get a pass if they have two bits of intellect or a pair of edgy parents or that likable gay. Dumb and bland.