Is this a condensed version of the previously deleted post? Where’s the argument that leads to the conclusion?
I’ve thought about what you said recently about why you think God’s been silent/absent and doesn’t intervene. I’ve also been thinking about what you shared recently over the phone, and putting those together, it equals that the above conclusion is doo-doo. Your mind can pull together better arguments than this, Zadok.
My mind is a quagmire these days, and yes it is a condensed version of my previous post which in its current draft is going on several disgusting pages. Perhaps I’ll post it at a later time when I’ve put together some basics that make sense. Your own blog too seems to place doubt on the point of all these mind games, does it not: What is good, what is bad, what is the point of all this mental exercise and effort.
And yes, Kj, it actually did feel good, for a moment. Like throwing a book at the wall.
I humbly submit that I think you made this decision a looooong time ago. Maybe you’re only now saying it aloud, but it doesn’t sound like something new. Maybe you’ve had some hope tucked away inside, but from my observation over the last few years, you only seem to expect the worst and bitterest disappointment from God. I actually think you’ve been very committed to that expectation. My two cents, love attached.
wow. honest & true words spoken from the heart – that is… YOUR heart.
i don’t know the context of this heaving out of crap, life, stuff and all, (missed the aforementioned deleted quote), but it does sound familiar to me.
i’ve been through places in my life where i too have felt those very words – thought them – and written them out in some semblance of expression. have also thrown some “books at walls.”
sounds like the beginning of a very true, honest, and gut-level psalm to me.
SuJ'n
8 Jan 2009 (18:12)
Is this a condensed version of the previously deleted post? Where’s the argument that leads to the conclusion?
I’ve thought about what you said recently about why you think God’s been silent/absent and doesn’t intervene. I’ve also been thinking about what you shared recently over the phone, and putting those together, it equals that the above conclusion is doo-doo. Your mind can pull together better arguments than this, Zadok.
Kj
8 Jan 2009 (20:50)
Does it feel good to say this?
Zadok
9 Jan 2009 (09:10)
My mind is a quagmire these days, and yes it is a condensed version of my previous post which in its current draft is going on several disgusting pages. Perhaps I’ll post it at a later time when I’ve put together some basics that make sense. Your own blog too seems to place doubt on the point of all these mind games, does it not: What is good, what is bad, what is the point of all this mental exercise and effort.
And yes, Kj, it actually did feel good, for a moment. Like throwing a book at the wall.
sarah
9 Jan 2009 (13:46)
I humbly submit that I think you made this decision a looooong time ago. Maybe you’re only now saying it aloud, but it doesn’t sound like something new. Maybe you’ve had some hope tucked away inside, but from my observation over the last few years, you only seem to expect the worst and bitterest disappointment from God. I actually think you’ve been very committed to that expectation. My two cents, love attached.
gllen
14 Jan 2009 (07:48)
hi zadok,
wow. honest & true words spoken from the heart – that is… YOUR heart.
i don’t know the context of this heaving out of crap, life, stuff and all, (missed the aforementioned deleted quote), but it does sound familiar to me.
i’ve been through places in my life where i too have felt those very words – thought them – and written them out in some semblance of expression. have also thrown some “books at walls.”
sounds like the beginning of a very true, honest, and gut-level psalm to me.
keep going…