The nature of love.

Zadok — Fri, 25 May 2012 23:06:30 +0000

I am finally ok with marriage equality and gay rights. It took a long time. When I was a kid I called my friends faggots; it sounded tough I suppose. I made gay jokes about anal sex and being a queer. Then I saw disgusting gay bikers in a comically stupid gay bar scene in the film Police Academy. Then homos were doing insidious things in politics and businesses and my pastor told us to boycott Bank of America because one of their executives was giving money to homosexual causes or something. When I think of myself to be a generous, loving person, I just have to harken to the language and thoughts that I accepted and perpetuated for the vast majority of my life. I have certainly caused more pain than I will ever know. What happened?

It wasn’t until age 26 that I made my first lesbian friend. We were both working in a Christian mission organization and enjoyed each other’s company, respective artistic endeavors, struggle with depression, and witty banter. She was patient with me and others as we asked her how she could possibly be gay and Christian, to us it was one of the most clearly immoral things you could do. I prayed for her a lot, especially when she would send me emails and texts accounting her depression and loneliness. I prayed that God would cure her of her sexuality and she would find a good man. I don’t pray that any more.

The Bush Administration followed and with it, the nasty Christian Nation rhetoric and empire building, which took a heavy toll. I barely pulled the lever for my fellow Evangelical in 2006, the chief reason being that Kerry had an aggressive exit strategy in Iraq and if I knew one thing, Bush was highly motivated to see his stupid shitty war end and something resembling a livable country begin to take form.

In 2008 I saw Barack Obama’s speech at the Sojourners conference on faith and politics and was intrigued with the possibility of a non-asshole Christian man in charge of things. He was intelligent, curious, generous, and embodied his faith in a plain, unspectacular manner. I learned that not all laws and lawmakers had to align with my own spiritual-morality. I often found myself saying “all things are permissible, but not all things are beneficial.” I think I still stand by that. It is certainly difficult for people of different ethnic, economic, or generational backgrounds to partner, but there is no good argument for making such partnerships illegal. It may be that in our present society two men are not the ideal to raise children, but that doesn’t make it wrong or immoral, it just means it is difficult. The fabric of the universe does not unravel when a child has two parents of the same gender. For that matter, I think loveless married heterosexuals shouldn’t have children because it will be miserable, but I don’t expect them to get permission from the state.

Then there is the matter of intersex: Approximately 1 in 1,666 births are neither XX nor XY. What are we to do if someone has both or neither functioning genitals? You will have to wear a dress and grow your hair long and marry someone who wears pants and keeps their hair short, otherwise people are uncomfortable. Sometimes, loving your neighbor involves discomfort.

And then all this arguing about the historical institution of marriage, that Western society would crumble once heterosexual marriage was expanded to include homosexuals. Is our society really that fragile? For all the hard work we’ve done as a civilization: the ability and freedom to elect our leaders, to abolish slavery and child labor, establish workers’ rights, to value people with disabilities, to provide education to everyone, to a fair trial, to protect the environment, and the moment two women are legally given the right to see each other in the hospital or retain property after death, everything comes crashing down? I can’t recall why I ever thought that, but it is somehow all part of that large, faceless, threatening, scary gross perversion that is gayness. Now it sounds like the same crap we were slinging at the American Civil Rights Movement. We are scared, and scared people do mean things for a long time.

The final straw was a poll about people’s conceptions of Christian faith, the results were telling and disgusting: “Anti-homosexual” was the top response. My shame was unbearable. Ok, that is enough. Time for something else. Time to get off the sidelines. Time to love people who aren’t straight and let them enjoy a full life with someone they love. I can’t believe I am saying this or doing this.

*A proper and complete retelling of this voyage will have to pickup again later. Blog posts aren’t supposed to be this long as it is.

Being on this list is bothersome.

Zadok — Wed, 02 May 2012 23:24:12 +0000

Afghanistan (2)
Bangladesh (5+)
Belarus (2)
China (2000+)
Egypt (1+)
Iran (360+)
Iraq (68+)
Malaysia (1+)
North Korea (30+)
Palestinian Authority (3)
Saudi Arabia (82+)
Somalia (6)
South Sudan (5)
Sudan (7+)
Syria (1+)
Taiwan (5)
UAE (1)
USA (43)
Vietnam (1+)
Yemen (41+)

*Countries that carried out capital punishments in 2011 according to Amnesty International.

Nashville you’re much too safe.

Zadok — Tue, 01 May 2012 19:15:03 +0000

My dear friend is a music director at a church here in the greater Seattle area. I asked him how he finds new music of the sacred/church variety and how he learns of concerts that may interest him. His answer was nuanced and difficult to enunciate as one would expect. He did, however, send me this gem as an example of the marketing noise I have to compete with as I hope to communicate The Opiate Mass to people such as himself. It is one of many unsolicited, faux-personal emails from Nashville promoters he receives in the inbox. He has never engaged with this person. I’m a few hundred exclamation points from making an impact.

Hello again!

Great speaking to you briefly earlier! I just wanted to check in and give you a few updates of artists that are slated to be up in Washington over the next few months. I’d love to work with you on something! So whether one of these seems like a good fit or if you have something else in mind, I’d love to hear from you!

Silverline (www.silverlinemusic.com) – I have Silverline in your area and available on August 7^th. They are also bringing along Loftland to open. So you get an awesome package with this one!

Phil Stacey (www.philstacey.com) – Converge’s newest signing Phil Stacey (American Idol) is going to be in your area and we have a date to fill on August 24^th. I’d love to get him out to you!

Sixteen Cities (www.sixteencities.com) – Sixteen Cities is going to be spending much of their fall on the west coast and it looks like we’ll hit Washington the first week of October.

Luke Dowler (www.lukedowler.com) – Have you had a chance to check out Luke’s latest video? If not you need to quickly jump onto his website and check it out. It’s the first step in a powerful campaign to help end slavery, Check it out! I’d love to get him over to you live as well, best times would probably be September 14-16 (band) or anytime surrounding November 11 (solo).

Andy Cherry (www.andycherry.com) – At this point I have no direct plans to have Andy up in Washington, but I’d love to make some! Andy is an incredible artist and worship leader! Hopefully you already got my newsletter talking about him already, but we are really excited about his new album and I’d love to get him up there!

Hopefully these updates are helpful to you! Looking forward to finding something that makes sense!

Andrew Jones

www.convergemusic.com
666.369.7797

Today in stupid intellectual property.

Zadok — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 16:38:07 +0000

Now it is as simple as protecting the in$ightful words you use to describe your stupid product.*

*I propose that the dollar sign be used to indicate sarcasm. I don’t really think these words are “insightful” so I have indicated my exaggeration with the good old $. It is perhaps the most commonly mis-communicated form of speech, we need a shortcut to save us from confusion. Like when Rush called that birth-control-popping woman a slut, in his apology he told us he was being absurd. Absurdism is like sarcasm. If only he had told us he was ab$urd in context he could have saved himself a lot of apologizing—well, that one apology he coaxed out of himself. He is $uper.

On idealism.

Zadok — Tue, 17 Apr 2012 18:49:28 +0000

Ideals are the excuses we make to not create.

The Christian Worship Industrial Complex.

Zadok — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 03:04:48 +0000

They say most people don’t pay attention to the lyric, well here are thousands who do; on glorious display, carving up scripture, celebrating their disdain for the planet they’ve been given (see Jesus). To the songwriter’s discredit, he admits he is not a theologian. This humble self-awareness didn’t inform his choice to base a song on the crap belief that tsunamis are blessings that remind us that “this place is not our home”. This is bad theology. This is not helpful. This stadium is not where you belong. All theologies are a work-in-process; I too have penned songs espousing unhelpful ideas and opinions. Fortunately, I was not esteemed as mouthpiece for thousands of un-curious, frightened youth at the time. Maybe Christian Rockers should go through some formal theological training before they sign deals with Sparrow-Dove Records. Just enough so they know how dangerous the field is. How unlucky that Christian youth entertainers have near-zero standards for admission (good hair, ragged jeans, fists, Bible study experience) and are propped up higher than those in the clergy. I didn’t realize this industry still had any relevance—I thought the Bush Administration killed this off like everything else Poli-Culture-Evangelical (one of their greatest achievements really). Aside: he seems to think that “governments being overthrown” (the Arab Spring) are confusing godless disasters on par with earthquakes. Or perhaps he is just bad with rhetoric.

I regret not seeing this band live.

Zadok — Fri, 16 Mar 2012 00:58:06 +0000

I was too scared of industrial music for most of my youth. Too bad for me. I wonder what type of artist I would be today if I hadn’t seen Hells Bells in 4th grade. I should forgive the filmmakers and my youth group for protecting me from good music.

Oh delicate muse.

Zadok — Mon, 12 Mar 2012 23:08:12 +0000

Bon Iver won two Grammys that he didn’t want. Awards for art are dumb he said. I agree with most of his views and what Nick Cave said here to the MTV Music Awards back in 1996. Of course I’d love to win a Grammy but right now I tell myself that awards are not helpful or appropriate or necessary and that I’m too dignified to compete for recognition from a bunch of stranger-peers. George C. Scott is one of only a few people to ever refuse an Oscar outright, he said that acting wasn’t a competition. It is not. I’m ok with top ten lists, I’m ok with art criticism. Maybe nominations and winners and important two-minute speeches are the problem. Just name your winners and quit horsing about with pomp and circumstance and making claims that your awards are bigger than the rest or that you got it right because democracy is true and Forest Gump is better than Pulp Fiction.

As Mr. Cave put it: “My relationship with my muse is a delicate one at the best of times and I feel that it is my duty to protect her from influences that may offend her fragile nature.”

My music is not my own.

Zadok — Mon, 12 Mar 2012 21:50:18 +0000

I can’t recall what initially convinced me to open license the music I make. I create songs which are meant to be enjoyed and used; this includes having it married to other amateur, personal creations. Once my music is purchased I have released control over how and when it is played. Perhaps it is playing at a strip club or Rush Limbaugh’s birthday bash at Rick Perry’s Niggerhead Ranch. Fred Phelps’ kids apparently love Mumford & Sons—how disgusting to have your music encouraging a team of professional gay-bashers. I briefly considered adding this to The Opiate Mass masthead: “If you hate gays, Arabs, immigrants, atheists, please do not buy our records,” but that would have precluded me a few years back. By nature, art is generous.

From what I can tell, this kid is not a gay-basher (as good a music video for this song as we ever could have done).

Organs vs. Synthetics

Zadok — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 19:48:46 +0000

I finally met with the Music Director at St. James Cathedral. I was nervous, he said he was apprehensive if I recall. It was a discussion of tradition and modernity, purity and progress. Dr. Savage is twice my age, and has created beautiful sacred moments for thousands of people every year. His palette is the cathedral. I asked him to tell us his vision for contemporary music at St. James, which was code for—why don’t you let us bring in some loudspeakers and worship at volume, the kids will like it. They don’t have much use for amplified music, and for very good reason, they don’t need amplifiers. The space is a perfect acoustical environment, designed for choirs, orchestras, and their unmatched pipe organ (which, I learned has a real 32 foot pipe, not a synthesized one). All that is ever put to mic is the homily and perhaps a solo voice for the liturgy. Dr. Savage told us about the moment every Christmas Eve that a single boy sings from the loft and is heard in the ears of all 3,000 congregants. I wept. Me, I want loud massive chords filling every crevice. I want to feel the music and be emotionally gripped by immense overtones, tweaked oscillators, and rattling sub-woofers. I want cinema. (Well, sometimes. Our greatest achievement each set is the time of silence in the middle. To get there and back is no easy feat. It is exhilarating the few times we’ve done it right.) He mentioned the aesthetic divide that occurred in the 1920s when organs were slowly becoming electro-mechanical, and not just mechanical. Industry was impeding on humanity. It meant something for the space to serve the lone human, singing unaided to God; for an instrument to echo purely down the hall. Of course this is beauty. Of course this should be guarded. There are plenty of sacred spaces in Seattle for us to amplify and indulge our synthesized, high volume fetishes, why must we insist on converting St. James into another electronic venue. If years from now, St. James is hosting amplified music once a week at the expense of a full brass ensemble, I would be very sad. If all the soundtracks were produced on state-of-the-art string machines, films would be less lovely. One of the newest churches in Seattle is Bethany Community. They spent a mint on a board, speakers, microphones, effects, and wall treatment. We sound quite good there. Never mind how flat the space is to the eye. When will our city build another grand cathedral like St. James? I’d still like to play there, if just once. It is the most beautiful church I’ve ever seen. Maybe I’ll lock down an exclusive contract—one day a year they allow speakers through the doors, and of course we only use TicketMaster™. Surprisingly, I think I have a new hero. He wouldn’t let me apologize for my digital approach to sacred music and space. He insisted that I teach him something. We hugged. I think Tara stepped on his toe.